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GENERAL NICKISHI SAMSON MARRIES PHYLICIA RASHAD(Claire from the Cosby Show)!


With a few kegs of cheap beer, Binzathon Warchester in his best man outfit, and in a private church with very few guests, General Nickishi Samson has completed his dream of marrying Claire(Phylicia Rashad) from the Cosby Show.

Boberino Froka, UNA's #1 Lt., had these comments to say: "THAT PIECE OF SH*T GOT MARRIED BEFORE ME! HE DIDN'T EVEN PICK ME AS THE BEST MAN, WHEN I WAS THE ONE THAT FIRST TAUGHT HIM HOW TO KISS A GIRL! THAT'S RIGHT, IN THE BACK OF AN ARMY TANK, WITH A DVD OF THE LION KING PLAYING AND A FEW BOTTLES OF WINE CHUGGED DOWN, I MADE OUT WITH HIM AND TAUGHT HIM HOW TO FEEL HIS FIRST BREAST!" Froka continues: "AND WHAT AN OUTRAGE TO PICK WARCHESTER AS HIS BEST MAN....I MEAN THE GUY DOESN'T EVEN BELIEVE IN OPPOSITE SEX MARRIAGE! WHO DO YOU THINK MADE IT LEGAL FOR F*GGOTS TO MARRY IN UNA? JERAMIE REED'S MOTHER? SHE ONLY DOES D*CK, BABY!!!!"

We would like to give you the rest of Lt. Froka's comments, but unfortunately this article was being written during the wedding reception, where Froka had consumed almost an entire semi-truck load trailer of wine coolers, which made him utterly incoherent.

When asked for comment of his new found love, Samson had this to say: "She's not exactly Sharon Valenti, but what can you do? Even though the best part of waking up is Sharon Valenti in your mouth."

We have come to learn that Sharon Valenti(or Sharon Vantine as she is now known), is Samson, Warchester, and Froka's 6th grade elementary school teacher. She is now happily married to the former school janitor, Terry Vantine, where they don't bathe, have sex in a 4X4 square foot room, and have many cats to play with...while having sex. But that's a different story for a completely different article.

Birds are chirping, love is in the air, and Samson is probably having sex with Claire from the Cosby Show right now. Quit dreaming it could happen for you, because with the simple words of "F*ck Yeah!"(we do not believe in the "I do" at the end of the ceremony), Claire from the Cosby Show has committed her life to having her turkey stuffed night after night by General Nickishi Samson, Jr. and his huge underwear anaconda. Thus our dreams of being naked behind the buttocks of Phylicia Rashad have now been shambled. I once enjoyed dreaming, and now I only weep at night on my pillow......thanks, Samson, you pr*ck.